I've left my Riding Crop in the Mortuary: Archive

Good night, all.

Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Sudden onset anxiety attacks and tension...

Like a boss?

Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Guys, there's a porn star following me on twitter.

Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

1,777 notes

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I'm scared to reblog things that don't have a...

Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

371 notes

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Friend: I love Supernatural.
Me: Oh my god! Me too!
Friend: No way! 
Me: What's your favorite episode?
Friend: Oh, uhm. I don't know.
Me: Who's your favorite character?
Friend: Oh! That one girl.
Me: ... Which one girl? Jo? Bella? Ruby? Meg? Ellen? Gen playing herself?
Friend: Uuhh...
Me: Lisa?
Friend: ... Oh, and that one guy's pretty hot too.
Me: Sam? Dean? Cas? Gabriel? Adam? Lucifer? 
Friend: ... What about that one monster?
Me: The Wendigo? Vampires? Skin walkers? Shifters? Werewolf? Demon? Leviathan? Wraith?
Friend: 
Me: 
Friend: 
Me: You just watch for Sam and Dean, don't you?
Friend: Yeah...
Me: 
Me: 
Me: 
Me: 
Me: 
Me: GTFO.

Feb 24th

7 notes

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I would love to meet Chris Brown. So that I can...

And I have a very strict “no below the belt hits” policy.

Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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My cell phone is the glitchiest mother fucker...

Oh, I see you’re making an important phone call. How about my battery dies in the middle? Oh, you’ve got me plugged in for the night? Fully charged in two minutes. Nope, just kidding, still charging. Oh, you’re expecting important text from boyfriend? Lol, I’ll give it to you an hour after he sends it. I see you’re trying to sleep. Let me light up my screen for...

Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

1,480 notes

Teachers: Don't talk to strangers online.
Parents: Don't talk to strangers online.
Everyone: Don't talk to strangers online.
Someone: So, what's your hobby?
Me: Talking to strangers online.

Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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Feb 24th

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I just remembered this while I was looking at some...

So around Christmastime I was talking with my boyfriend about how I don’t like diamonds and that I prefer Amethyst (my birthstone). He went home and was telling his mother about it and she asks him “So what are you going to get her?” and he starts flipping out and he goes “What do you mean “what am I getting her”?”. And she goes “For Christmas. What...

Feb 24th